The Wizard Of Oz remake is in the works and it’s going full on LGBTQP! As we reported last month, Kenya Barris is set to write and direct. Just to refresh your memory, Barris makes programs that concentrate on “diversity”, “cultural issues” and “societal expectations”. 

Well, as to be expected, Barris intends on taking all his buzz words and using “the message” to potentially eviscerate everything wonderful about Hollywood’s all-time classic and the most iconic feel good movie ever made.

Wizard Kenya Barris
Kenya Barris in quite possibly the most ridiculous picture I have ever seen.

Barris goes on to explain (using a word salad befitting of a Vice President):

“The original was an allegory and a reflection of the way the world was at the time with things like the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl.

Now we’re going to turn a mirror on where we’re at right now and take disparate characters from the LGBTQ community, from different cultural communities and socioeconomic communities, and tell a story that reflects the world. I think this is the best time to do that.”

Obviously the song Over The Rainbow will (depressingly) have a whole new meaning now.

Wizard Of Oz Gays
Wizard Of Oz 21st Century Edition.

What I Expect

So based on Barris’ comments, here’s what I’m expecting of the “reimagining”.

Dorothy – A streetwise black girl with plenty of sass and endless one liners.

Toto – Probably going to be a cat.

Tin Man – He wanted nothing more than a heart. So he’s definitely going to be confused and oversensitive. 

Funnily enough, here in England, a derogatory (by today’s standards) word for a gay man is a “poof”. The cockney rhyming slang for a poof is an Iron Hoof – we only use the first word, so it’s just an Iron. Iron + a man made of metal. You couldn’t make this up, it’s beautiful poetry.

Wizard
The Wizard Of Oz remake – ideal for children of all ages.

The Lion – A bully at first but soon revealed as a cowardly figure who is easily intimidated. However, it turns out he always had the courage to stand up for what was right all along. 

He’ll be played by a woman of color with the message being that standing up against oppression is inside everyone, they just need to let it loose.

ScarecrowPortrayed as physically weak and needing a brain. 100% guarantee you this will be the white dude of the film.

The Good Witch – A trans.

Good Witch
The Good Witch 21st century styley.

Wicked Witch – An angry white woman. Basically a Karen. Instead of flying monkeys and this being a film about LGBTQP, I wonder if they’ll have to do away with the monkeys for recent pox-related “reasons” of sensitivity.

Munchkins – This is a tricky one. Hiring midgets won’t go down too well with Peter Dinklage so I’d expect these to be some new kind of CGI creatures instead.

The Wizard – You just know his hologram will resemble Trump, that’s obvious. The actual kind hearted, helpful old man behind the curtain will be a fatherly black man.

Peter Dinklage
Peter Dinklage “You want to employ hundreds of my people for what now?”

Lastly From Barris

Barris says he understands a Wizard of Oz remake comes with tremendous pressure.

“I’m nervous, hopefully, my movie can last as long as the original does.”

Don’t count on it mate.

Oz

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