What’s the male version of a Mary-Sue? Gary-Stu? Here’s your review of What If…? episode 2: What if T’challa was Star-Lord?

Let me get this out of the way before inevitable non-thinking morons in the comments call me racist: My kids are black. They were adopted at birth. It’s very important to me that are treated like the humans that they are. Not as sub-human, as in the fifties, and not as some sacred talismans to soothe lefty white guilt (as long as they don’t move into their gated communities) as what is happening today. I can tell you from experience that it leaves them feeling just as dehumanized. It’s painful as a father to watch.

Because they knew they were just being told how awesome they were or how people supported things like BLM just to score points. But to actually hang out with my kids, be friends with them, get to know them as human beings? No, that was a bridge too far for these enlightened lefties.

So when I review this episode, I want you to understand my biases.

I like Black Panther as a character in the MCU and I really liked Chadwick Boseman’s portrayal of him. While I wasn’t a big fan of the movie, Boseman’s performance was excellent. And even that movie knew enough to give T’challa some obstacles to overcome. It made it easy to connect to him as a character and root for him.

What if Drax Black Panther
Yes, even Drax wants a selfie. T’challa saved his home! He does it all!

But this? This is pure leftist white guilt masturbation. See… T’challa gets picked up by the ravagers as a young boy by mistake as this time Yondu outsources the job. They pick him up due to the fact that Wakanda has this incredible power signature (logical) and all earth people look alike (see? racism stupid!)

So the new Star-Lord grows up 1) reforming the ravagers into a bunch of heroes, 2) talks Thanos out of genocide by coming up with a new plan, 3) stops Nebula from becoming mostly robot, and 4) just being so damn famous that everyone fanboys-out just by being next to him. There’s next to no obstacles he can’t overcome and even Thanos is deferential in his presence, though he’s just too damn humble to notice.

Disney, you stupid fucks.

You really don’t get how you dehumanized the character, just because he was black. Given that Boseman did the voice, his untimely passing isn’t an excuse as it was all written ahead of time. This is just as racist and insulting as making all the black characters maids or comedy relief.

Yes, the execution is far more competent than the last episode. But all in all, I just was squirming in my seat and seeing how my daughter felt being treated so “well” by her rich enlightened lefty white classmates who wouldn’t actually get to know her as a person, but just by her skin color. This whole episode is sickening.

What If Star Lord was Black Panther

So the end of Boseman’s career as Black Panther ends not with a bang, but with an insult. Once again the white leftist shows how racist he really is. Elevating or dehumanizing on the basis of skin color is still doing the same thing: showing us how you just don’t think of black people as just… people. With dreams and hopes and failings just like anyone else.

In case you’re wondering what happened to Peter Quill? Well, he never got picked up and ended up working in the Dairy Queen. Yeah. Destruction complete.

I hated this and those that wonder why some things I’ve hated in the past, I still managed to give a star to, well this is why. It gets 0 stars. Not because the story is terrible but because it’s the worse case of white guilt racism I’ve seen in a long time.