Ahh, the Cannes film festival. Not quite the level of childlike peacocking of the Met Gala or the self-congratulatory onanism of the Oscars, but it can be close. A fixture on the movie calendar that exists simply because Hollywood players always like a few days in the South Of France on expenses, even if they then spend those few days being sneered at in French.

Still, gather they did. Champagne was drunk. Expense accounts drained. Deals signed. Interns sexually assaulted. Non-disclosure agreements hastily witnessed. Now as a caravan of exhausted Russian prostitutes heads back East the dust is settling on another festival where an unexpected winner was revealed.

Triangle-Of-Sadness

Triangle of Sadness is a satire, written and directed by Ruben Östlund and starring Woody Harrelson. It has won the Palme d’Or and received an eight-minute standing ovation. You know who else received eight-minute standing ovations? Stalin.

Woody Harrelson is the captain of a luxury cruise for the uber-rich and the centerpiece of the movie is a projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea-filled sequence about seasickness. Hmmmm… maybe we have been too hasty to judge here, as that sounds like the kind of juvenile behavior that Last Movie Outpost can really get behind.

The rest of the field, and the rest of the awards, feature the usual load of movies you have only vaguely heard of from directors you were always meaning to get around to watching but didn’t. The runner-up was a tie between Claire Denis’ Stars at Noon and Lukas Dhont’s Close.

Cannes

Shaunak Sen’s All That Breathes was the best documentary, while Park Chan-wook’s mystery Decision To Leave got him best director. There’s probably a metaphor in there somewhere.

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