It may seem that the Church Of The Outpost is an ancient institution, built on fine traditions, the need to confess, and strong morality. However we are also a forward looking, modern church. Which is why we maintain such a fast internet connection and constantly applied private browsing.

While using this to watch Brazilian interracial shemale action check on the overseas progress of our missionary work, I became aware of a troublesome fact. Sin is everywhere. It is like Oreos. Annoying and unavoidable. The only way to purge this sin is with a good, hard confession.

So once again it falls to me, the most reverend Reverend, to open the doors of the Last Movie Outpost Confession Booth so you can cleanse your disgusting, dirty souls.


As usual, the goddess Gal Gadot stands ready to feat upon your sins and, clearly, she could do with a good meal. As you prepare for her to take your sins inside, just remember to stay calm. It won’t hurt a bit… so I have been told.


The subject for today’s confessional comes from a long-term Outposter who has been with us since the very beginning of our journey. He spent forty days and forty nights in the internet wilderness with us and has been responsible for a burning bush or two. PoopyPants. His question is simple:

Which movies do you love, but also hate? They’re good, but for some reason you just can’t watch them.

As always, my flock, I would never expect you to unburden your cinematic morality while I remain just a humble spectator.  So here is mine.

I cannot watch E.T. – There, my soul is prepared. I have no doubt it is a cinematic masterpiece and a wonderful movie. However it made me, as a small child, cry so hard in public that I have never felt an urge to revisit it. Every time it is on television the memory overpowers the excellence of the movie.

Now, my children, the Confession Booth is open. Prepare yourselves, and confess. CONFESS!


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