(ALLEGEDLY)

“Farewell to thee”

I always said every time I finished listening to DAVEY HAVOK scream his guts out in the classic MISS MURDER song that came out some years back now. It was always such a classic that I nearly had to listen to it 10 times in a row once! But for whatever reason, I jus COULD NOT listen again after the ninth. But that’s okay.

Ultimately what brings us here today though is the great, and now late, legendary JAMES LIPTON, a man who transcended his iconic status to become ultimately an icon to us all. He really will be missed for his legendary interviews. There may be one interview he did that you may not know about so let me tell you all a little about it while we have some time.

“Concerning movies”, Lipton started with, “Please tell me some of your earliest memories. What was one of the earliest movies you saw that you can remember, Mr. *REDACTED*?”
Knowing so many movies at so young an age was nothing to me. I’ve recounted many stories of acid trips, porno flicks my dad showed me when I was 3, and most certainly actors who came to my birthday parties and sliced my cakes, especially a certain famous horror icon that may be familiar to ALL the readers *giggle*

“Ha!”, I giggled at James. He LOVED it when I called him James! He said not even the most respected actors like Pacino and de Niro ever referred to him as simply “JAMES”. It made his day as well it should! Pacino invited me to play cards with him and Tobey Maguire. I declined because I had to make it to an auction. They were auctioning off THE ACTUAL THIN MINT from MONTY PYTHON’S THE MEANING OF LIFE that caused MR. CREOSOTE to explode! How could I pass that up?!?

About two hours into the interview, I was informed that Stallone was on the phone, wondering if he should go with TRT or HGH for his upcoming RAMBO IV flick. I told him I had a little bit of experience with HGH when I was 5 and that it worked wonders for me. I was slaying strange left and right by the time I was 13! But then the accident with my moth…

Really what this all boils down to is a man who had a passion for film has left us. I really will never be the same again and why should I?!? He was my closest rival to my knowledge of film but not even he was close! All he cared about was “fine cinema”. And I watched EVERYTHING. This is what I mean: I watched garbage schlock like A SERBIAN FILM and enjoyed it. He wouldn’t give it the time of day, what a loser! Exploitation exists for a reason, silly!

Reality though is what binds us as we live in a massive dictatorship under that vile commie-loving Trump! Why should I even capitalize the “T”? That’s implying he’s a man! What a greedy, loser trump turned out to be and yes, the “t” is decapitalized because I often think trump has such a tiny wang. I mean I think about the size of it daily, giggling in my head at how small his penis must be!

Y’all crazy shitposters express some memories you had about the great, and now late, JAMES LIPTON! I would love to hear some thoughts that were like mine. What a fabulous guy. He would love this reflection piece I’m doing for the site. Absolutely LOVE IT!

Keep it c*communications disruption*