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James Bond – On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
I know Lazenby has his fans but I’m going on record that he is horribly miscast in the role. From his goofy facial expressions to his terrible line delivery (the accent doesn’t help). Alleged murderer Albert R. Broccoli really blew it when he hired this guy. “The other fella” deserved a better replacement.
Batman, Mr. Freeze, and Batgirl – Batman and Robin
I don’t even know where to begin on this one. I’ve never actually watched this movie. The trailer was so laughably bad I never bothered. The general consensus is that my instincts were correct with the worst offender being Arnold “Economic Girly Man” Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze. Alicia “Lips” Silverstone (Batgirl) and George “Hi Freeze. I’m Batman.” Clooney (Batman) were only slightly less bad.
Han Solo – Solo
I’m actually a fan of this movie. Its biggest strike was them hiring some dude that Spielberg recommended from his Synagogue instead of getting Anthony Ingruber who is perfect as a young Harrison Ford.
Khan – Star Trek Into Darkness
Everything about this movie is stupid. First, let’s start with Jar Jar Abrams adamantly denying aka lying that Benedict Cumberpatch was playing Khan. Next, Khan is not a white Englishman. He’s a Mexican playing an Indian. Get it right, dammit!
The stupidest part of this movie (arguably, there are so many) is when Khan reveals that he is in fact Khan with this build-up like the characters in the movie know who that is. They don’t. The reveal is for the audience which is a total joke like the rest of this idiotic movie (Tribble blood, my ass).
Brad and Janet – Shock Treatment
By 1981, the Rocky Horror Picture Show had been a midnight movie success for several years. Susan Sarandon’s Janet and Barry Bostwick’s Brad were pretty iconic performances at this point so it baffling that they were recast with Jessica Harper and Cliff De Young.
On a budget of $3.5 million, it was released only as a midnight movie, never gaining a proper theatrical release. Its exact box office numbers are unknown but they are believed to in the low thousands. The whole movie is available on YouTube if you want to bother with it.
To Be Continued…