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Crockett and Tubbs – Miami Vice Movie

Man, Crockett and Tubbs should never have been recast for that Miami Vice movie. Two of the most iconic characters on television could never be replaced by anybody else least of all Collin Farrell and Jamie Foxx. They just don’t have the charisma to pull it off. Couple this with their constant mumbling and well a non-starter of an idea gets even worse. A damn shame. Michael Mann should’ve known better.

Barnabus Collins – Dark Shadows Movie

Tim Burton fucks it up again. Depp basically plays a vampire version of his Willie Wonka, instead of the character portrayed by Jonathan Fried. Horrible.


Jennifer – Back To The Future 2 & 3

Jennifer (Claudia Welles) in Back to the Future is a real character. She’s a cute girl that’s a little bit of a bad girl. She’s fun and authentic. In the sequels, however, Elizabeth Shue does her best Willie Scott impression of screaming and flailing around. Couple this with her looking utterly ridiculous in the hair and makeup used for the role and it’s an unmitigated disaster.

Norman Bates – Psycho Remake

Did you watch True Detective Season 2? If so, nothing more needs to be said. If you haven’t, don’t.

Harvey Dent – Batman Forever

Harvey Dent (Billie Dee Williams) is black. Two-Face (Tommy Lee Jones) is white. I’m not a big fan of race swapping characters in general, but sticking with Billy Dee would have been a huge improvement over Tommy Lee, who was horrendous in the role. Thankfully we got a Lego re-imagining of Billy Dee’s version.

Darren Stevens – Bewitched Movie

Will Farrell doesn’t play anybody but Will Farrell and he isn’t even good at that most of the time. Watch the clip below if you don’t want to laugh.

To Be Continued…