Yeesh.

One thing I’m beginning to realize is that computers haven’t just created a whole new world of special effects, they let you take a show and make it look cinema quality with just the right amount of lighting and color grading. You can really make a production look first class.

The miniseries in 1994 had immense budget constraints forcing them to shoot on 16mm film. It gave it a cheap look in a lot of ways. But I would take that over this piece of crap.

It’s not that it’s badly acted or full of social justice BS. It’s that hack writers have constantly decided to take a work we all know and instead of just making it its best, maybe adding a few scenes here from the book -for instance the addition of Rita- they decide they are just too clever. After all they’ve seen it so they assume everyone has. So they decide to employ non-linear storytelling.

It’s a cheap gimmick that they don’t know how to wield properly. Listen screenwriters, you ain’t Chris Nolan.

If you start the first episode in Boulder and then go back to show the beginning of Captain Tripps only to go back to Boulder, you just drain all the tension of the story like a deflating basketball. Let’s start by showing a church full of dead people. Then let’s go back in time to show there’s a flu. Gee I wonder what’s going to happen?

Sure I’ve seen The Stand from way back when, and I’m sure many have read the book as well. But since these guys don’t understand that if you use this type of storytelling, giving away major plot points at the beginning just makes everything that happens in between a boring slog since we know where they are ending up.

Add to that they only focus on a few characters in each episode. Harold Lautner, the most annoying character ever put to fiction, gets a lot of screentime here while you have to wait on others. That means more bouncing around different times in the story while constantly coming back to Boulder. Oh I guess this person makes it, while this other person doesn’t. Thanks for destroying all tension!

Then it gets worse as you go along because they continue to bounce all over the timeline of story until you just don’t care anymore. Steven King may be an insufferable jackass but credit that he knows how to craft a story correctly. There was a slow build-up over time as everything progressed. Telling it all out of order is just maddening!

There’s only 9 episodes, the first 4 are available but I’m not bothering to finish it. Give this one a pass.