The Last Movie Outpost Confession Booth returns once more, and never has it been more needed. For those of us with our unconscious cultural biases forever tainted towards the Northern hemisphere, we are entering a period where filthy sin can overpower even the most chaste of us. Spring giving way to summer can do funny things to a potential sinner like you. Not me though, for I am the most reverend Reverend and I must remain pure as the Goddess Gal Gadot’s chosen, and humble, vessel here on Earth.
As she feasts on your sins, such is the volume of your sinning that she would grow fat if she could. For the Goddess Gal Gadot does not put on weight. And when she farts they smell like rainbows. Now she lies, prostrate, ready to receive your purely scandalous sin. Hark, she is ready! You may now enter her Confession Booth.
Today we will deal not just with any sin, but with one of the originals. One of the Daddies of sinning. If this sin were a Daddy, it would be Ray Winstone and the rest of us would be getting bummed in the greenhouse!
We speak, of course, of wrath, a.k.a. anger, a.k.a rage. This sin can cause you to carry out more sins. Some of you have even been out coveting graven neighbor’s wives, or something, haven’t you? You disgusting sinners! The confession we must hear today is this:
Tell the Confession Booth – Which movie has made you the most full of wrath, and why?
Are you unable to control yourself because the death of Claire’s assistant in Jurassic World is completely uncalled for, needlessly sadistic, and lingered on almost voyeuristically? Do your temples throb because, after all the hype, Batman’s greatest challenge was basically to climb out of a hole in The Dark Knight Rises? Does The Force Awakens failing to put Han, Leia, and Luke on-screen together make you throw furniture around your hovel?
Your wrath consumes you, now you must unburden yourself. Enter the Confession Booth and confess. CONFESS!