It’s been a while, and boy-oh-boy does the Devil make work for idle hands! But your hands haven’t been idle, have they? You know, every time you do THAT the Goddess Gal Gadot can see you? And so the stench of your sin once more fills the air, like the stench of failure at a UN Council Meeting. Fear not, you sinners, for the Last Movie Outpost Confession Booth returns.
Once again it falls to me, the most reverend Reverend and the servant of the Goddess herself here on Earth, to absolve you of your sin.
Sometimes a confession is not enough. Sometimes the Goddess demands a sacrifice. Why, just this last night while searching for a suitable .gif to demonstrate the sheer magnificence of Goddess Gal Gadot, I involuntarily sacrificed something… twice!
Today, as sinners, we will take the first step on the road to our redemption by slaughtering some sacred cows. Cows of cinema! Do you steadfastly refuse to jump when Ben Gardner’s head is revealed inside the hull of the sinking boat in Jaws? Do you not shed a single tear as ET turns gray and slips away? Do you fundamentally not agree that The Fellowship Of The Ring is the best Lord Of The Rings movie? Do you prefer Blade Runner with the voiceover?
What perceived movie wisdom do you reject? Which sacred cow of cinema will you happily slaughter?
You will feel a sweet release as you get this off your chest. And who doesn’t like a sweet release? You must confess. CONFESS!