Your sin continues to mark your black soul and your shame can never be relieved unless you confess. You must confess! As always I, the most reverend Reverend, will be here to take your confession.
Come into my booth and bare all. It’s very private in there. Whatever you tell us is only between me, you, the Goddess Gal Gadot (who will judge you for your sins) and the many, many fine Outposters that dwell here.
Today’s sin, to be judged by the Goddess, is the following:
What is the saddest, most geeky thing you have ever done? What was the tragic limit of your nerdiness?
Was it as mild as taking a sick day off work to go and see a Star Wars prequel? Or did you wear out your pause button on your old top-loading VCR when Honey Rider comes out of the see in Doctor No for self-pleasure purposes? Did you once host a quiz night and make a set of movie questions do devilishly difficult that you lost the room? What guilt have you been carrying for years alongside your Geek Card?
My tragic geek moment came in 1989 when Batman was the most hyped movie the universe had ever seen. The first showing was to be at 12 noon, but in my pre-Reverend days I was the proud possessor, that summer holiday, of a newspaper round delivering local newspapers that only got delivered to the distributor at about 11:30am. Could I deliver late that day? No! I was forbidden.
So the entire run went straight in the trash as I decided being in the first audience of the first showing for Batman at my local cinema was more important than delivering cutting edge local journalism to the people of my fine parish!
I then compounded the sin with another lie once the complaints rolled in. I claimed some locally known ne’er do wells, ruffian types, had threatened to go around after me and steal the papers from letterboxes. Gosh! They had made good on their threats.
If I can be forgiven my double sin, then there is hope for you yet. Confess!