My flock, it has been a while. Since the year turned, your foul sins have been increasing. Some of you are sinning several times a day, especially those of you lucky enough to live alone. Remember, every time you do THAT sin, the Goddess buys a Game Stop share. Some of you sinners have been so very busy sinning.
As you know, here at the Outpost we have very high standards. Not only do we seek to keep you entertained with an online movie and entertainment home for survivors of the Gropegate Exodus who have spent an eternity wandering the online movie desert. We also seek to save your souls.
Where else online can you find out all about Marvel Phase 4, point and laugh and what Star Wars has become, learn some Hollywood History and achieve salvation all in one convenient place? Our Confession Booth now has a long and illustrious history and, boy, do some of you clearly need it!
Once again it falls to me, the most reverend Reverend, to guide you to that salvation.
I am the humble servant of the Goddess Gal Gadot here on Earth. She watches over us, judges us, probably pities us. After all, who wouldn’t? Now she demands more sin to feast upon. I would das as she says, if I was you.
Today she demands to sit in judgment on your judgment. Specifically, your judgment of movies. Your all seeing eye, your ability to pick out the virtuous from the dross for the future.
Movies do not often achieve the status of “classic” instantly. It can take years. For the fog of the theater to clear, for the benefit of hindsight to kick in. For scholars to begin to discuss, for fans to raise like a cult. Until eventually, one golden day, a movie achieves immortality.
It took Jaws almost 25 years before it slid from well executed monster movie and the original summer blockbuster across to an all time classic. The Empire Strikes Back struck a bum note with some fans and received from very unfavorable reviews upon it’s release. Now it is not just the best Star Wars movie by a mile, it is one of the greatest American movies ever made. Blade Runner is another example. It grew to current status. That status did not appear overnight.
Movies can mature with age. They can grow over time. A revisit can reveal more than we ever realized. So today you must confess both your taste and your judgment and declare, in the sight of the Goddess:
Which movie do you think will be a future classic, and why?
As usual, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. This time my confession may leave some of you scratching your heads and asking:
“But Reverend, have you been on the communion tequila again?”
I think Michael Bay’s 1998 Armageddon could be, should be, on it’s way to being a future classic. I know, I know. Stop laughing at the back. Put down those pitchforks and cease this march on our church. Hear me out.
Somebody else agrees with me. Armageddon achieved a Criterion Collection DVD release. Inclusion in the Criterion Collection means the movie has been judged to be among movies rated as:
“…important classic and contemporary films, cinema at its finest.”
See. Not so funny now is it? Consider the cast. Consider the pacing. Within the first 14 minutes of the movie every single main character is well established and their motivations completely understood.
As film scholar Jeanine Basinger of Wesleyan University says:
“If that isn’t screenwriting, I don’t know what is.”
She goes on to say it is:
“…a work of art by a cutting-edge artist who is a master of movement, light, color, and shape—and also of chaos, razzle-dazzle, and explosion.”
Furthermore she points to the movie as a celebration of working American men and their dogged determination:
“This film makes these ordinary men noble, lifting their efforts up into an epic event.”
So I am not alone here. Consider other classics in the disaster genre such as The Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure. They were liked, but not considered classics at the time. Their reputations matured. This follows the same blueprint. Huge, bombastic, great supporting cast and a race against time. All the ingredients are there, waiting to be discovered. I stand by my opinion. Join me, my flock. We no longer need to be ashamed.
Now you must confess, before it is too late. Confess. CONFESS!
