Once more my fact-finding tour of the ladyboy go-go bars of Bangkok the beautiful temples of Thailand is interrupted by an urgent summons home, back to our church. Why? Because once again you have all been sinning! Look at you all, positively dripping in sin! And once more it falls to me, the reverend Reverend, to open the Last Movie Outpost Confession Booth to cleanse your tainted souls.
I sensed a disturbance in my pants that can only mean one thing. The Goddess Gal Gadot has smelt your sin and once again grows hungry and must be sated. She awaits you in the privacy of the Confession Booth, preparing to judge you.
Today’s judgment shall be rendered upon your ruination. Where you reach the limits of your tolerance and can no longer continue. Where a line is drawn, and then crossed. Your patience tested to the limit. A point where you can no longer stay silent:
What is the point that totally ruins a movie for you, and which movie?
Is it when Superman rebuilds the Great Wall of China with his eyes in Superman IV: The Quest For Peace? When a shark is shown following the Brody family in their plane from Amity to the Bahamas? Was it a “Your momma!” joke in space in The Last Jedi? At what point do any pretensions you have about clinging on to a certain movie explode into an outburst you can no longer contain where you declare:
“Oh, come on!”
As always, let he who is without sin and a large credit card bill in baht from Madam Sin’s in Nana Plaza cast the first stone. See, silence. We all have our sins. And so I shall unburden my soul first. As No Time To Die continues to prove there is life in the box office yet, I think back to the last incarnation of James Bond and his last outing, Die Another Day.
I remember I was thoroughly enjoying it. Something of a loving call back to Bond adventures past as part of the anniversary celebrations. A promising start with Bond captured interrogated. His escape and trip to Cuba. The tone was good. And then… virtual reality happened.
After this, there was an invisible car, a space laser, and a kite surfing away from some bad CGI, but the damage was already done. It was an “uh-oh” moment where the entire movie flipped on its head and veered from the best Sean Connery to the worst Roger Moore in one movement. I get why they did it, but this was the moment.
So what was yours, and in which movie? We are ready for you and the Confession Booth is open. You must confess. CONFESS!