Sin comes in many forms. You sin all the time, you filth mongers. That thing you keep doing, sometimes several times a day? That is a sin. That other thing you did. Sin. That thing you are thinking about right now. Sin. That time I went to the Trojan Spa And Turkish Baths the holy waters of Lourdes and my speedo fell off just as the police came, those officers clearly thought that was a sin rather than an unfortunate accident. Sin is everywhere. Once again it falls to me, the most reverend Reverend, to help you navigate this world of wickedness with another Confession Booth.

Confession

With so much sin sloshing around this world, you need a receptacle that can take it. Something that can consume more sin than even you are capable of producing. Somebody who wouldn’t waste a drop of sin. Hark, for the Goddess approaches and she is ready to feast! She hates waste. Waste is one of the worst sins. Waste is… wasteful. You know what else is wasteful?

confession

What is more wasteful than the money you waste on repeated cinema viewings of a movie? You know what is going to happen. Nothing can surprise you again. So why do you do it? What a complete a total waste of your time, effort and money! The topic of this confession is:

Which movies have you seen more than once in a movie theater, and why?

You wastrels. You can’t help yourselves! You would never see me committing the sin of waste like this. Never, ever, ever… other than Return Of The King, I mean…

…and The Fellowship Of The Ring

..and Independence Day

…and The Empire Strikes Back

…and… look, enough about me. This isn’t about me. This is about you, you filthy sinners and now you must confess. CONFESS!

Confession

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