I turn my back for just a few weeks to go off on a high-risk sex tour of West Africa missionary work to help the most vulnerable on the African content and the stench of sin once again pervades our Outpost. Without the moral guidance provided by me, the most reverend Reverend, you have descended to your most animalistic. We must once again, here at the Last Movie Outpost, open the doors of our Confession Booth for you to lay yourselves bare.

The Goddess Gal Gadot has been waiting, starved on your sins to feast upon. So we must make this a good one, as she requires filling. She is insatiable for sin, and you are insatiable sinners. A religion of convenience and, dare we say, many opportunities for release.

I think she is trying to communicate. Her disappointment. With you. Yes… you! The sin of yours that she will feast upon this day is that of your ignorance, or your lack of knowledge born from your laziness. She does not tolerate your mistakes, but she feasts on your slopiness. That sounds so wrong. For today’s Confession, consider this…

Did you never realize that sweet Dorothy in Return To Oz was played by everyone’s slightly scary psycho portraying actress Fairuza Baulk (American History X, The Waterboy)?

Did you genuinely believe that Brian Cox was in Alien, not Ian Holm, and then to make matters worse when this was pointed out to you, were you such a hilariously thin-skinned excuse for a human that you made up some lies about in being an in-joke in your family, rather than just admitting you were wrong?

What is your biggest movie mistake or error?

The Goddess awaits. She is hungry. You must confess. CONFESS!

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