Whilst out, travelling the world and engaged with finding countries with lax consent laws and no extradition treaty important missionary work to spread the word far and wide, I am frequently making debauched wholesome memories. Memories are like a gift from the Goddess. A guide towards a better, more innocent time. But alas, I fear for some of you who are less pure than I, the most reverend Reverend, your memories will be of sinful things.

Confession

Your memories will feature gratification, like the stinking sinners you are. Once again your souls must be cleansed and the Confession Booth will spread itself wide open, for you to enter, deeply. The Goddess Gal Gadot grows hungry once more to feast upon your sins.

Confession

She gets a bit warm when she eats so, as you can see, needed to take a few layers off.

The Goddess shall not feat upon your common sins of gratification. Self-gratification, no doubt. No. She shall dine on your exquisite cinematic memories. Specifically, today we will take you confession on this:

What is your earliest cinematic memory?

What is the first thing in the world of movies that you remember leaving it’s indelible cinematic mark upon you? Your movie stigmata? Maybe the first step on your journey that led you to this very community, right here.

For let he who is without sin cast the first stone, and let he who is without memory be doomed to online life at Ain’t It Cool News. My earliest cinematic memory, before I found the Goddess and my calling, occurs at the tender age of three years old, and is also one of my earliest memories full-stop.

It was the first movie I was ever taken to the theatre to see. It was Star Wars. I can only remember snippets. Like flashes of things. Small things that stick in my memory for some reason. I remember the dim lights. I remember the theatre had a deep orange, velvet curtain. It had uplighters. Obi Wan Kenobi removing the arm of a ruffian ne’er do well in the cantina stuck vividly in my brain.

Shortly after this, so I am told, I fell asleep and was carried out of the theatre at the end of the movie, still sleeping.

Now it is your turn. The Goddess grows near, and she grows hungry. You must confess. CONFESS!

Confession

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