It grows hot in the summer months. Unless you are in Australia or New Zealand or somewhere like that when you have everything backwards and upside down and may be beyond saving. Those of us up here where the seasons work properly find that the heat makes us sin. Why, just last night
at the pub at a charity event to raise money for the church roof I sinned was tempted nine times in just four hours. What we need around here is a good, hard confession.
You, as you are not men of the cloth, stand no chance as the heat rises. This is why it falls to me, your moral guide and guardian, the most reverend Reverend to show you the way.
Your filthy sin is almost too much to bear, but do not fret for salvation is at hand in the shape of the Goddess Gal Gadot who will feast on your sins and lighten your load. You must enter my Confession Booth through the other entrance to unload.
Today’s confession subject was suggested by one of the flock. The Outposter who is known as Volbeck. The sin that is weighing heavy upon his soul is the sin of progress. Time marches onwards, and tastes change. Usually, what was once forbidden should be become… erm… bidden? However in these censorious and puritan times, when the new inquisition of the so-called “progressive” stalks the land, ready to cancel you for a thought, this is no longer the case.
What movie do you love that could never, would never, be made today?
Here at the Church of Gadot (peace be unto her, especially when she’s in her underwear) we are big fans of Jaws and our love for it can, at times, feel sinful in itself. However thinking about it, would it get made today?
The first two victims are a woman and a child and the entire final act features no diversity at all. Imagine the meetings that would cause today.
We can feel your souls creaking under their burden, and hear the celestial choir of a hungry Goddess approaching. The Last Movie Outpost Confession Booth is open. You must confess. CONFESS!