Welcome to Tartan TerrorVision, this a new column here at Last Movie Outpost and consists of reviews of horror movies we’ve recently watched over the space of 24 hours.

Myself and LMO staffer, Red Dwarf had a pre-Festive movie marathon at the weekend, and here are the results. We each had 3 selections – mine being Trick, Crawl and I Am Not A Serial Killer. Red Dwarf went with Boar, Ruin Me and The Ward.

Trick 

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Red Dwarf –

“Low budget and not much to write home about.  Kid is bullied, does a Michael Myers and kills his tormentors at a Halloween party.  Captured and then escapes returning every year to torment the police and kids that thwarted his initial rampage.  Poor.” 2/5

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MacLeod –

“Jeezo! Avoid like the plague. Billed as Scream-type slasher movie, but comes across as a TV movie. The acting is dire with no likable characters, and the story is nothing original or new. After the opening scene, it begins to get very tired, very quickly.” 1/5

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Boar 

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Red Dwarf –

“Cross between Crocodile Dundee and An American Werewolf In London.  This film is pretty good.  Not your straight monster film and with some great Aussie stereotype characters who enjoy the drink and are quick-witted.  Farmers livestock are disappearing and rumours of a large boar are circulating.  When a family choose the area to be their holiday destination, they come across a freak of nature which is hungry and with the locals need to put a stop to the creature.  Good FX, good quips and good kills.” 4.5/5

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MacLeod –

Boar is an Australian B-movie classic! A wild pig, similar in size to a campervan, is presumed to be terrorising the Ozzie outback, and only one drunk old man claims to have seen it. I don’t want to spoil anything about this, the dialogue is highly quotable. Fun fact – The film has 31 extra’s credited as “Pub Goer”!” 4.5/5

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Ruin Me 

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Red Dwarf –

“Takes the premise of Escape Rooms and thrill seekers.  Group of people sign up for a Slasher Camp themed camp, with no phones and no idea where they are.  They have to solve puzzles to escape from the woods and find out what is happening.  Unfortunately the inevitable happens and they get picked off one by one.  Passable but would not recommend it to anyone.” 2.5/5

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MacLeod –

“As a Shudder production, I guess I was expecting more from this movie. A group of kids sign-up to take part in a ‘slasher sleepover’ in the woods. I wouldn’t call this film a horror movie but I do think some genre fans might like it.” 2/5

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Crawl 

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Red Dwarf –

“More of a mainstream film.  Alexandre Aja directs this monster film.  Pretty good it is too.  Good kills, good FX and it has the Maze Runner’s Kaya Scodelario in it.  Florida hit with a Force 5 hurricane which cause water levels to rise, which is not good if you like next to an area occupied by Alligators.  Lot of tension, lot of jumps, lot of Kaya swimming.  RECOMMENDED!” 4.5/5

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MacLeod –

“OK, I know this isn’t technically a B-movie, but who cares? Category 5 storm hits and floods a Florida town which, in turn, becomes overrun with alligators. The FX are pretty decent, and it is intense cheesy fun.” 3/5

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The Ward 

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Red Dwarf –

“Amber Heard in a haunted mental institution run by Jared Harris.  Heard is one of five female patients in the ward being haunted by the ghost of a former patient.  Slowly the tension builds up as the vengeful spirit attacks the girls and it is down to Jonny Depp’s ex to find out what its all about.  Not a bad film, nowhere near John Carpenters best but it better than a lot of films that Amazon Prime accept in its far reaches.” 3.5/5

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MacLeod –

“A mediocre film from an otherwise great director. This John Carpenter 1960s-set insane asylum movie has a strong cast including Amber Heard and Jared Harris, but it’s ultimately a letdown. I read some people were comparing it to Shutter Island. I dunno about that.” 2/5

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I Am Not A Serial Killer 

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Red Dwarf –

“Good God Marty, you have to come back to the future.  Christopher Lloyd has to eat and he does well in this film as the focus of a young lad investigating disappearances in his town.  At first thinking the town has a serial killer he slowly discovers that old Doc Brown may be up to more than looking for a Flux Capacitor and he may have something to do with the disappearances.  Another good film which is well worth a watch as the story slowly reveals that not is all that it seems.” 4.5/5

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MacLeod –

“One of the best B-movies I think I’ve seen. The story is brilliantly original, and the performances from Christopher Lloyd and Max Records in the leads are excellent. You wouldn’t think this a low-budget movie as it looks glorious with the 16mm print. It’s gory, dark and quite humorous in parts. I’ve ordered the book from Amazon. CHECK THIS ONE OUT! (Thanks CHS)” 4.5/5

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Keep your eyes peeled for more of our reviews over the holidays. These movies were sponsored by Kodi.