Ridley Scott’s Disease

I think it’s plain as day that James Cameron has lost his mind. Don’t believe me?

Go watch Avatar again, and remember that he is almost done making four sequels to that silly son of a bitch.

Maybe Cameron lost his mind at the bottom of the sea. Maybe he also lost his balls to whatever magic Suzy Amis practices.

The reigning Mrs. Cameron and her title belt.

Without going into all the legal issues surrounding the rights to the Terminator saga, James Cameron is now the man directly responsible for this new addition to the story, as well as two more planned sequels. Remind you of Ridley and his plans for the Alien saga? The interview below, from 2017, is very informative and, in hindsight, hilarious.

For fuck’s sake, they brought David Goyer on board to head up the writer’s room for future sequels. That’s right: the man who wrote Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice.

Dark Fate, Indeed

As Cameron says, Terminator: Dark Fate is a direct sequel to T2. So is it any good? Does it build on the fantastic lore established in the first two movies?

Well, for starters, young John Connor (Edward Furlong, in a CGI cameo) dies at the hands of a T-800 (Arnold Schwarzenegger) within the first ten minutes. Seriously, he takes a shotgun blast off-camera. For fans of the first two movies, this immediately takes a giant shit on Sarah Connor, Kyle Reese, and their son John.

“You mean I’m doing all this bullshit for nothing?”

If we’re doomed to die anyway, what the fuck was the point of the first two movies? Maybe that’s the whole point and the saga has become a morality play. As Cameron says,

“…the machines have already won.”

So how many fucking AI systems do we need to destroy before we’re safe?

GET ME SCIENCE MAN ON THE PHONE!

Fuck director Tim Miller and fuck James Cameron. It’s clear that they are going for shock value with this reboot stunt, instead of crafting a meaningful story continuation. Watching John die and knowing that his life was almost meaningless is akin to Luke Skywalker tossing his father’s lightsaber over his shoulder in The Last Jedi.

You’re Dead, Honey

I know of two times that Sarah Connor has been killed in the Terminator saga. In the novelization of T2, Sarah died when John was in his twenties, ambushed by Hunter-Killer machines in Mexico.

In Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines, she supposedly died of Leukemia shortly after the events of T2.

Your hairstyle must be terminated.

Dark Fate takes another, now canonical, direction with Sarah, and Linda Hamilton is one of the two bright spots in this movie.

She’s very invested in bringing another dimension to Sarah, having gone from a disorganized waitress to lean warrior mama-bear, and now a world-weary hunter with nothing left to lose.

Now she can balance a checkbook and a rocket launcher.

It’s fun watching her act, fight, and shoot, as she brings the same physicality and intensity from her T2 days to this outing.

I Have Detailed Files

Not surprisingly, the other bright spot in this movie is the man himself. He’s never been better, in spite of the script he’s working with.

I guess I never gave any thought to what would happen to a Terminator, with a learning computer for a brain, that had completed its mission and was left to wander the Earth, although T2 gave us a lot of clues.

According to this new canon, the T-800 that kills John at the beginning of the movie:

  • spent 20 years studying humans
  • assumed the name Carl
  • developed a sense of morality as it applies to weaker humans
  • thusly fostered a young single mother fleeing an abusive relationship
  • further learned to love, in a sense, by caring for the mother and her young son
  • moved to Laredo, Texas
  • started a drapery company
  • spent the ensuing years collecting a huge arsenal of weapons and hiding its true identity from its “family”
  • I’m not making any of this shit up

I was chuckling through most of Arnold’s early scenes, both from the ridiculousness as well as his perfect performance. He knows what’s going on with this movie and he makes the very best of it.

No Fate But What W-, Ah, Fuck It

There’s really nothing else worth discussing about this movie. Cameron and company have crafted a script full of contrivances and stupidity, more concerned with rebooting the saga by hitting story beats from the first two movies.

This time, there are two!

The new Terminator is called a Rev-9, which is like the T-X model from Terminator 3, only this one can split itself into an Endoskeleton and liquid metal self.

The Rev-9 (Gabriel Luna) and the protector Grace (Mackenzie Davis) fight like rejects from a Yuen Woo-ping action scene. They both have abilities that make the T-1000 seem like a piece of shit. God bless Mackenzie Davis, she’s trying her heart out, but her character is so dumb.

Maybe We Can, Too

There ya have it. Avoid this movie unless you’re interested in spending two hours to see Arnold be cool for 20 minutes and Linda Hamilton be a badass for 30 minutes.

2/5 stars.

I appreciate your time, friends. Keep your ear to the ground, your eyes on the horizon, and your heart open.

Until next time,

BILLY

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