The 2023 Razzie Nominations are in with Blonde in the unenvious position of leading the pack with eight. I tried watching Blonde last week and even copious scenes featuring Ana De Armas’ bearing her magnificent breasts couldn’t hold my attention for longer than 30 minutes. It’s that bad.

Disney’s Pinocchio and Jared Leto’s Morbius disrespectfully prop up the pack with six and five nominations. I was never a fan of the Razzie’s but because of the absolute state of Hollywood these days, I now find them hilarious. Seeing these overpaid douchebags getting slaughtered for their pretentiousness is beautiful.

Razzies
Five nominations for Morbius.

The full list of nominees can be seen below:

Worst Picture

  • Blonde           
  • Disney’s Pinocchio
  • Good Mourning  
  • The King’s Daughter
  • Morbius

Worst Actor

  • Colson Baker (aka Machine Gun Kelly), Good Mourning
  • Pete Davidson (Voice Only), Marmaduke
  • Tom Hanks (As Gepetto), Disney’s Pinocchio
  • Jared Leto, Morbius
  • Sylvester Stallone, Samaritan

Worst Supporting Actress

  • Adria Arjona, Morbius
  • Lorraine Bracco (Voice Only), Disney’s Pinocchio
  • Penelope Cruz, The 355
  • Fan Bingbing, The 355 & The King’s Daughter
  • Mira Sorvino,  Lamborghini: The Man Behind the Legend

Worst Director

  • Judd Apatow, The Bubble
  • Colson Baker (aka Machine Gun Kelly) & Mod Sun, Good Mourning
  • Andrew Dominik, Blonde
  • Daniel Espinosa, Morbius
  • Robert Zemeckis, Disney’s Pinocchio

Worst Screenplay

  • Blonde,  Written for the Screen by Andrew Dominik, Adapted from the “Bio-Novel” by Joyce Carol Oates
  • Disney’s Pinocchio, Screenplay by Robert Zemeckis & Chris Weitz (Not Authorized by the Estate of Carlo Collodi)
  • Good Mourning, “Written” by Machine Gun Kelly & Mod Sun
  • Jurassic World: Dominion, Screenplay by Emily Carmichael & Colin Treverrow, Story by Treverrow & Derek Connolly
  • Morbius, Screen Story and Screenplay by Matt Sazama & Burk Sharpless
Pinocchio
If they think this is bad, just wait until The Little Mermaid is released!

So there you have it. I’m surprised Black Adam isn’t on this list. Have you seen a movie that was such a clusterfuck on the senses but didn’t make this list? Let me know in the comments.

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