Minions: The Rise of Gru has debuted with an astonishing $127M opening weekend which means it has beat the previous Independence Day opening record of $116m set by 2011’s Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

Gru and his little yellow minions also set milestones internationally with four markets scoring the biggest animation opening weekend of all time in Argentina, Saudi Arabia, Israel and Venezuela. Is that the same Saudi Arabia that banned Lightyear

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The Elephant In The Room

You know where I’m going with this so let’s get straight to it. Disney’s Lightyear currently stands at $189m having been in cinemas for three weeks! We know the story of why Lightyear, a film that should have been a money printing press, is a flop, so I’m not going over old ground… even if it would fill me with great delight rubbing salt into Disney’s gaping wound.

The evident success of Minions: The Rise of Gru fills me with happy, happy, joy, joy as it is yet further proof that people (families in particular) are turning away from the woketardery of Hollywood. 

Naturally the usual Disney shills on various websites inferior to LMO are claiming the reason for Minions: The Rise of Gru’s success is because the film had an unprecedented advertising campaign. Yeah, that’ll be it.

Perhaps it’s worth countering that weak argument with the fact Disney pumped $200m into Lightyear whilst Minions cost $85m. Also, Toy Story has been adored since 1995 whilst Despicable Me, the first film featuring Gru and his minions, was launched in 2010. For those crap at mathS (emphasis on the S because I’m English and it’s our language) that’s a 15 year head start for Buzz Lightyear and his Toy Story pals.

We know why it failed, Disney knows why it failed and the shills know why it failed. They need to stop lying.

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Lessons Learned

The good news is Disney have learned their lesson and are now focusing on more family friendly cartoo… oh wait, no. No they haven’t. In fact, they are doubling down and you will soon be able to sit down with your young children and enjoy Baymax on Disney+.

A cartoon aimed at 5 years and up that will show men dating men and Baymax visiting a pharmacy to buy tampons and taking advice on the best products to buy from a trans man. This is not a joke. It is real.

RIP Disney. You had a good run.

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