Yesterday, Breitbart News reported on some reviews for Rambo: Last Blood. Knowing what the film is about, it was pretty clear on what the narrative these reviews were going to be about. Below are some of the highlights they found.
“Mexico’s gonna want a wall to keep bad hombres like John Rambo out in this cartel-smashing sequel to a franchise that’s long since run its course.”
“Another cruel and ugly showcase of xenophobic carnage squeezed into barely 80 minutes and packaged for export — the tired, now-septuagenarian action figure turns his notorious sense of loathe-thy-neighbor vengeance toward the Mexican cartels, who’ve kidnapped his college-bound niece.”
“Director Adrian Grunberg — in which screenwriters Matthew Cirulnick and Stallone adopt the racist view of Mexicans as murderers, drug dealers and rapists…”
“In 2019’s hypersensitive cultural environment, the depiction of murderous Mexican crime bosses and their cowering sex slaves encountering a literal white savior doesn’t go down so easy.”
“Rambo was not exactly a subtle metaphor for America’s fractured identity, and the scars of its war-mongering impulses that continue to sting after all these years.”
“First Blood now feels more like Dog Day Afternoon than Commando, but in the subsequent sequels, Rambo became an integral part of Reaganism’s jingoistic overcompensating. It’s fitting that Trump-era Rambo is essentially a human border wall keeping out Mexican rapists and murderers.”
“Last Blood is somehow both a rollicking good time and a racist rape-revenge fantasy you can imagine ISIS recruits and school shooters separately jerking off to”
“It’s all a setup for Last Blood to live out every assault rifle owner’s worst fears and most insane fantasies about Mexico. The only way it could be more transparent is if Stallone had growled “I. Am. The Wall!” in his best Judge Dredd voice.”
“At some point after her kidnap, we see Rambo toss an unidentified bottle of pills to the floor, scattering them on the concrete. I leaned over to my date and whispered, “Oh no, those were his Not-Killing-Mexicans Pills!”
“It’s so genuinely horrific I’m convinced there are real-life cartel videos celebrating the torture of rivals that are less gory. I was either howling with nervous laughter or covering my face the entire time.”
(Note: Yes, this is a man reviewing this)
“The subtext of it all, of course, is essentially the immigration version of the right-wing meme where gun owners dare libs to come to take their assault rifles. “You rapist, murdering drug gangs want to cross the border? I’ve got some tunnels you can use.” This followed by a 30-minute supercut of Rambo delivering every form of over-the-top vigilante justice short of actually gnashing the bad guys’ bones with his teeth.”
“This movie is the product of truly deranged minds. It’s a must-see.”
I wanted to see if there were more of these reviews as they all seemed to dwell on the same things. The issues were, for the most part, not really about the quality of the film, they were all about politics.
I then went over to Rotten Tomatoes to see what the score was there and just as I figured:
I had a look as some of the “professional” critics reviews and found some more choice remarks.
“The movie? Revisiting one of the most violent screen creations of his career requires him to up the ante from his ’80s, Italian-maned mayhem machine. Gory. This is a Trumpist vision of the border country, a fascist snuff film.”
“Rambo: Last Blood is basically Taken meets Home Alone, only racist.”
We Got This Covered:
“Rambo: Last Blood proves that the time and place for muscly, muddy military machoism has long passed us.”
“This massively enlarged prostate of a film can only make you wince with its badly acted geronto-ultraviolence, its Trumpian fantasies of Mexican rapists and hilariously insecure US border, and its crass enthusiasm for rape-revenge attacks undertaken by a still-got-it senior dude, 73 years young, on behalf of a sweet teenager”
The final chuckle is from Grace Randolph:
One would think that a lot of film critics do not like some hard truths to be told that don’t fit their narrative.
I think that Angel Moms will tell them to shove it.
Click Here for our first non-spoiler review of Rambo: Last Blood.