Cometh the hour, cometh the Outposter! Well, nobody else around here was going to be reviewing Dutch cinema like Flodder 3, were they? So Leopardo stepped forward like the hero he is, to bring us tales of what a seafaring people, thriving in the lowland river delta on the North Sea in northwestern Europe, do for entertainment. See, we are a broad church here at Last Movie Outpost.

Do you havbe something to share with your fellow Outposters? You know we love it when Outposters share a contribution. Put on your big-boy contributing pants and send it in to us at [email protected] to wow your fellow community members at the sheer magnificence of your movie going literary prowess.

Now here is Leoapardo.

Flodder

Flodder 3

Hi, is everybody getting tired of these yet? If not, thank you! Here is another one!

I started with a review for Flodder a few months ago, and I mentioned the sequels. Having recently re-watched them, I decided to finish the trilogy. I did Flodder in Amerika! (AKA Flodder does Manhattan!) a few weeks ago, so here is Flodder 3 (AKA Flodder Forever, or even Flodders Forever) to cap off the trilogy.

You can watch the trailer here:

In 1995, with the release of Flodder 3, the Netherlands had their first ever movie trilogy. Part three, however, is not a direct sequel.

After the success of Flodder in Amerika, the first sequel, the creator and director of the Flodder movies Dick Maas decided to milk his franchise some more and created Flodder, the TV series, in 1993. It was a success, at least in the Netherlands and a dubbed, edited version in Germany, showing that the European TV viewer really isn’t that much more sophisticated than their American counterparts.

As in the movies, the show focused on a family of delinquents who get set up in an upper-class neighbourhood. The story gets reset to the beginning; characters that died in the first one are back, nobody’s house is destroyed anymore and the Flodders are again the most hated family in the neighbourhood, only in a more general “they don’t belong here” way.

There is no story arc, it’s just 30 minute episodes of isolated storylines you’d have seen in hundreds of other shows. The dark humour is replaced by general family friendly comedy. About half of the principal cast is replaced, sometimes more than once. It never really picks up, it is dull and uninspired, and it got repeated for decades.

What became Flodder 3 was planned to be three episodes to end season three and, with that, the series.

But Dick Maas decided to make a new movie instead, returning as director. The movie he came up with uses the new cast, restores some of the raunchiness, but keeps the awful characterizations of the show, and was supposed to end both the show and the franchise once and for all.

Flodder

But, of course, the movie did really well (why??!) and the show went on for another two seasons, ignoring the events of the third movie altogether.

Cast

Ma Flodder – Nelly Frijda
Johnny Flodder – Coen van Vrijberghe de Coningh
Kees Flodder (the son) – Stefan de Walle
Kees Flodder (the daughter) – Tatjana Simic
Lou Landré –Jaques van Kooten (Sjakie)

Flodder

Plot

The movie starts with the eldest sons, Johnny and Kees, committing a robbery in the harbour. This immediately shows the viewer how “off” this movie is. The Flodders were always criminals, but never cartoony criminals. Dressing up in fake police uniforms and “impounding” merchandise from warehouses feels very Hanna-Barbera-ish. All it needs is a sniggering dog waiting in the back of the car.

Meanwhile, the city’s district of Zonnedael, where the Flodders live, prepares for their 25 year anniversary. The neighbours hatch a scheme to get rid of them. They plan to trick them into criminal behaviour so the city can kick them out of the house. This is laughable as the Flodders are criminals anyway, you just need to catch them doing it. Trying to make it seem like the eldest daughter is a prostitute is even stupider than that as from the first movie (if we can consider the first one canon) we already know she is one, and prostitution isn’t even illegal in the Netherlands!

Also meanwhile, Ma falls in love with a homeless man who has a few secrets making the family not trust him and try to break them up.

Stuff happens, the house gets trashed again in a houseparty, people get hilariously injured, cars, trucks and houses get blown up, the end. It’s ridiculously cartoonish and so far removed from the first two movies, it’s almost impossible to believe it was actually made by the same people.

When Dick Maas is on form, he can make a great product, but when his stuff sucks, it can REALLY suck. Quality-wise, he’s all over the place.

Flodder 3

So, What Do I Think About This Movie?

I kind of liked it when it came out. It was more Flodder, who wouldn’t want that? Ok, the characters were way off, and it looked way too much like the TV show, but still, the dick jokes and the nudity were back, so, fun!

You could be forgiven for liking this when you see it for the first time, but it really doesn’t hold up when you re-watch it. The plot is very weak, it really feels like a sitcom plotline stretched out to feature length, which it was.

The two actors who replaced Johnny and Kees are really not up to the task. New-Johnny just puts on a fake Amsterdam accent and makes faces at the camera. New-Kees is supposed to still be a pervert, but he just comes off as a misunderstood guy, who might even be mentally disabled. The other characters are one-dimensional, flat and uninteresting.

And when it’s over, it doesn’t even end the franchise like it was supposed to. It was supposed to end season three of the TV show but was released in theatres sometime between seasons two and three. So after this movie, the story resets AGAIN and gets dragged on for another two seasons.

So, so much for European class and sophistication, I suppose. A completest who saw the first two might want to check this out. If you want boobs and dick jokes and nothing more, you might even enjoy yourself. But keep your expectations very, very low.

Flodder 3

The Verdict

Go watch Flodder 3 if you must, I don’t care. Two chocolate dildos out of five.

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