Doomock is back claiming that a new ending for Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny is being shot due to the unwavering backlash from his initial set of rumors. However, his infamous grain of salt is not required as it seems John Williams himself made the startling omission in Italy where he’d just showcased the score for the movie.

John says at the 5:25 mark in the clip below:

“So we have just about completed the film. We have maybe another ending to shoot and to record, maybe in a couple of weeks.”

Now, that doesn’t mean a new ending will make the film any good, so don’t get too excited just yet. We’ve all heard the rumors that Phoebe Waller-Bridge is supposed to take over the mantle of Indy, after young Indiana Jones sacrifices himself in some crazy time travel caper, therefore erasing himself from history.

Test Screening Leaks

Doomcock also revealed some test screening feedback, but he stresses that he remains skeptical but says they do match up with the initial rumors from the first batch of leaks. So as usual, there are a lot of unsubstantiated rumors so it is only right we start with one of these bad boys. Oh, and spoilers too…

Indy5_RumorControl

The movie opens with a flashback to 1944 when Indy is tracking down the Dial Of Destiny with Basil (Toby Jones). They both encounter Toht from Raiders Of The Lost Ark (now played by Mads Mikkelsen) who is still alive thanks to messing around with time travel or something. Whatever. Anyway, he manages to escape to the present day which I presume is 1969 for this fiasco.

Indy is still married to Marion but Mutt died in the Vietnam War.

Waller-Bridge is the daughter of Marcus, who is an artifacts dealer and, yes you guessed it, gay. Apparently Indy has a negative reaction to finding this out, which is when we no undoubtedly get a lecture about changing times, blah, blah, blah.

Indy sees a newspaper article about the moon landing and spots Toht who is now called Jurgen Voller. I presume they are talking about the US recruiting all the Nazi scientists after the war. Personally, I’m amazed they have gone there with this.

Indy goes to the welcome home parade for the astronauts where he meets Voller (Toht) who runs a Hydra-type organization. He explains they are using the Dial Of Destiny to create “Die Glocke” to alter history and – this is not a joke – they want to “Make Deutschland Great Again”. Fuck off.

Indy 5 Mads Mikkelsen

Back to 1933

There’s a fight, and a chase (probably that scene with Ford on a horse). Indy and Helana get the Dial Of Destiny and follow Voller back to 1933 and meet pre-Raiders Indy.

Indy reminisces about the glory days and his old adventures, and Helena criticizes the way he handled the situation and what she would have done to make it better. Apparently, there is even a scene where Indy uses the word Indians and Helena corrects him to using “indigenous people”.

Blah, blah, blah, this is making my eyes bleed and I’m skipping straight to the end where young Indy sacrifices himself to save Helena and the world and as a result, old Indy fades away just leaving his clothes.

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Indiana Jones And The Raiders Of The Lost Dignity

And finally, because frankly, I’m losing the will to live and can’t be bothered to write any more of this, at the end we see Helena as Indy and she’s leaving the temple at the beginning of Raiders without setting off the boulder because shes the bestest evaaarrrr.

We then see famous scenes from the three proper Indiana Jones films, but they have been recreated with Helena. And then we fade to black and get… “Helena will return” flash up on the screen.

I don’t want to live on this Earth anymore. I am so beyond giving a fuck about this film and anything Kathleen Kennedy is attached to, that I will pass it over to you Outposters in the comments section and back away slowly.

Indiana-Jones

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