The Vision got destroyed and the Scarlet Witch went crazy.

You might think I’m talking about Wandavision but I’m actually referring to the Vision Quest and Darker Than Scarlet storylines in West Coast Avengers circa 1989. I’m going to call both of these stories “Vision Quest” from here on out because I think of them as one long, horrible story.

I’m an old school Marvel fan who hasn’t read a new Marvel Comic in almost 20 years and I’m watching these MCU movies and shows from that perspective.

When most people watch Wandavision they probably think “Hey, Bewtiched!” enjoying the goofy sitcom Easter Eggs and all of that garbage. Not me. I think “This is reminds me of Vision Quest,” one of the worst storylines of the 1980s.

What’s so bad about Vision Quest? Well, it pretty much ruined 2 of the 5 best Avengers in the comics: The Vision and Scarlet Witch.

Scarlet Witch, Vision, Hawkeye, Hank Pym (Ant-Man, Giant-Man, Yellowjacket, Goliath), and the Wasp are hands down the greatest Avengers. Sure Cap, Iron Man, and Thor would come and go but those 5 were the mainstays.

Vision Quest starts off with the Vision going MIA. The rest of the West Coast Avengers team goes looking for him and they find he has been dismantled by the Russians (I think? – I’ve tried to erase this abomination from my mind). Hank Pym rebuilds him except now his body is white and he has about much personality as a box of rocks and less memories than Guy Pearce in Memento.

Right after this, the Scarlet Witch learns that her twin sons are not real but pieces of some 4th rate villain named Master Pandemonium’s soul. The children turn into his hands and old Wanda goes crazy, turns into a villain and fights the other Avengers.

Once fantastic characters, the Vision and Scarlet Witch were pretty much ruined until George Perez and Kurt Busiek relaunched the Avengers in 1998, but I digress…

The MCU versions of these characters (and you can lump the other 3 I mentioned above in here as well) are bland, milquetoast, non-characters that I couldn’t care less about. Vision is a total milksop and Wanda is as dull as dishwater.

Also, the MCU can’t even get the powers of these characters correct.

In episode 5 of Wandavision the good folks at SWORD (whatever the hell that is) announce that Wanda’s powers are “telepathy”. Never in the entire publication history of this character has her powers ever been telepathy. Change probabilities? Yes. Alter reality? Sure. Telepathy. Nope.

The Vision fares no better. In the same episode, we get him randomly sticking his fingers in some guys head to mess up his memories or something stupid like that. The Vision can fly, become intangible, and manipulate the density and mass of objects. He also does all of these things without managing to look like a moron which Paul Bettany does every time he opens his mouth.

I also can’t stand that they go out of their way to mock the comic looks of both Vision and Scarlet Witch on this show similar to what they did to Captain America’s costume in The First Avenger. You could make some great-looking live-action versions of these costumes (hell, Wanda’s already looks great), but they choose to ridicule it instead. I shouldn’t be surprised considering they are mining utter garbage like Vision Quest for story ideas.

Speaking of the 5th episode of Wandavision it ends with another terrible idea: bringing the Quicksilver from those godawful Fox X-Men movies into the fray. I was hoping to get a more comic faithful version of the X-Men characters but it seems likely we’ll up with Jean Luc and Gandalf mixed with a hodgepodge of other versions of the X-Men pulled from that movies series as well other versions from the multiverse.

Ugh.

I’m going to keep watching this yawnfest so I can see Paul Bettany’s Vision dressed in all white.  I’m sure it will do Vision Quest proud.