Marta Kaufmann, the co-creator of arguably the greatest American sitcom of all time, Friends, has gone super woke in the last few days and made two grovelling apologies. 

One for having no black lead characters and one for the way they handled the subject of Chandler’s Dad, who was a transgender/transvestite/transformer – man/woman/person/thing.

Friends Mart

This Is Brand New Information

Friends was first aired way back in 1994 and ran for 10 seasons before finishing in 2004. The world was a very different place back then, a much better place in my opinion. The music was awesome, the movies were great, everything wasn’t overly politicized and there were only two genders.

I am a huge fan of Friends and 18 years later, my family and I still watch it and belly laugh even though we have seen each episode dozens of times. All six characters were some of the greatest to ever grace the TV screen – Joey, Chandler, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica.

Celebrities were also lining up to get a slice of the action. We got guest appearances from Brad Pitt, Paul Rudd, Bruce Willis, Alec Baldwin, Winona Ryder, Julia Roberts, Ben Stiller, Reese Witherspoon, George Clooney… look, I can’t list them all but oh, my, God, there were a lot!

Apparently Friends has been watched over 100 billion times and still manages to bring in $1billion a year. It’s a humongous success and adored by billions across the world but that doesn’t count for shit in 2022.

Friends 1

Can Marta Be Any More Pathetic?

With a net worth of over $400m and the success of Friends under her belt, co-creator Marta Kaufmann suddenly feels the need to virtue signal and apologise to the noisy minority. Speaking to LA Times recently, Marta grovelled like a dog and said she felt ’embarrassed’ that Friends featured a predominantly white cast. Marta whined:

“I’ve learned a lot in the last 20 years. Admitting and accepting guilt is not easy. It’s painful looking at yourself in the mirror. I’m embarrassed that I didn’t know better 25 years ago.” 

Chandler

Kauffman says the series’ failure to be more inclusive was a symptom of her internalization of the systemic racism that plagues our society, which she came to see more clearly in the aftermath of the 2020 murder of (career criminal and Fentanyl user) George Floyd.

As a result of her new found virtue signalling, Kauffman has now donated $4 million to Brandeis University to promote the study of African American studies.

The Marta F. Kauffman ’78 Professorship in African and African American Studies will support a distinguished scholar with a concentration in the study of the peoples and cultures of Africa and the African diaspora. Since the announcement, Kauffman said:

“I’ve gotten nothing but love. It’s been amazing.”

I couldn’t imagine needing to be worshiped by total strangers. Poor Marta, how sad.

Ross

My Eyes!

After bending the knee, Marta felt the overwhelming love and virtue of strangers and wanted more. This time she spoke to the BBC admitting it was a ‘mistake’ to not to use the appropriate pronoun for Chandler’s Dad.

Let’s bear in mind that back in the 90’s we still only had two genders and pronouns were not a thing but that didn’t stop Marta wanting to soak up that delicious faux praise. She pleaded:

“We kept referring to her as Chandler’s father, even though Chandler’s father was trans. Pronouns were not yet something that I understood. So we didn’t refer to that character as she. That was a mistake.”

In the show, Chandler’s Dad was gay and had a drag act under the name Helena Handbasket. He was also played by Kathleen Turner who was excellent in the role.

Marta also said she also regrets referring to Chandler’s Dad as “father” rather than “mother”. Give me strength.

In a scene at Monica and Chandler’s wedding reception, Chandler’s Dad and Mum had a little back and forth. Chandler’s Dad mentions his Mum was too old to wear such a low-cut dress. In typical Bing humor, Chandler’s Mum fires back:

“Don’t you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?” 

Can you imagine a line like that being written today? No chance and the world is a more miserable place for it and people are sick of this nonsense. My wife, Mrs Eggy has just asked why I was writing about Friends. I explained and her response was, and I quote:

“Oh for God’s sake. People weren’t so stuck up their own arses back then, people were normal. Get over it.”

The world needs more people like my wife.

Monica

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