If you have read my reviews of Fear Street 1994 and Fear Street 1978, you’ll know I’m not a fan. They are fairly well made movies, but the scripts are very poor, very little attention to detail and not scary at all. Well, here’s my review of the third installment, Fear Street 1666.

Fear Street 1666 or Six Past Five PM

This like the others, starts with ‘Previously on Fear Street’ and, as I said last time, the director thinks the audience is so stupid, they can’t remember what they saw a week ago. Not a good start.

So, this one is set in 1666, now, my American history is a little spotty, but there are things I didn’t quite understand:

  • Would they have all been Irish?
  • How come all the villagers have really nice houses, some of them with two stories?
  • One family has a full printed bible, which I didn’t think ‘poor’ people could have afforded in 1666.
  • I thought slavery wasn’t introduced into American until much later, but there seems to be a lot African American people living quite prosperously in the village.

If I am wrong about this, please correct me. However, I do feel the screen writer should have maybe checked their facts more.

The entire original cast is back, I can’t be bothered to list them again. I didn’t think this was the best of ideas, but I’m guessing it was cheaper than getting new actors and it was less confusing to the simpletons who enjoyed the first two.

Now, we have everyone speaking in an Irish accent…I say this very loosely, because the accents range from Ireland to somewhere in India and back to the US. They were mostly terrible!

We join a small village and Sarah Fier (Maderia) is living a good life with all her friends, most of them are the returning cast, just different guises. Although, Sarah isn’t Sarah, but Maderia is ‘Quantum Leaping’ into Sarah’s body…which then makes zero sense that her brother, played by Benjamin Flores is black! Unless of course she sees him as black? This was really confusing.

In the evenings the kids party and take drugs…seriously! They take berries, which makes them get high and they drink and shag. I laughed at this bit!

* Spoilers from here on in *

Sarah and Hannah (Scott Welch) are secret lesbians and there is a mild scene of them about to get it on, but it stops, which was disappointing, I won’t lie. I did think it was odd that lesbians are bad, but a mix-race family was fine? But then, I don’t know if Sarah was a mix-raced family, coz of the whole Quantum Leap thing.

A plague hits, the Devil is about, so obviously it’s a witch!

Anyway, the first half of the movie is basically ‘We found a witch, may we burn her?’.  They catch her, it turns out someone else is doing the witching, Sarah gets her hand cut off, hung and buried; this all does refer back to the first two movies.

We now jump back to 1994 and we find out that Sarah Fier wasn’t cursing everyone; it’s the local sheriff, Nick Goode. He made a pact with the Devil, he would give the Devil names, they get possessed, kill and the Devil would feed on people’s blood. Now, I will admit, this is where the story actually shows a little interest, but it was very bizarre to switch the entire tone of the movie right in the middle like this!

The kids decide they need to kill Nick and they team up with some random guy from the first movie, which you knew they were going to do from the start, because it was an obvious set up.

The kids take over the mall, as we know from the first one, breaking into a mall is really easy! Then they Home Alone the mall and set it up for Nick to turn up and catch him.

In a second surprise this was actually pretty good, they basically lure in the ghost. Ghost Face, I mean Skull Face, razor blade girl, Michael Myers look-a-like and some others (who aren’t explained or given a back story) plan to get Nick covered in some of Deena’s blood, since it attracts the ghost killers and all done. They mix Deena’s blood with water, so they don’t drain her.

Nick manages to get away, but they cover all of the ghosts with the blood and they all murder each other, which was again, pretty clever. Although they all come back, so it was kind of pointless.

The witch ends up getting Nick and everyone lives happily ever after. Then, in the end credits, the police have left the witching book at the scene of the crime and someone grabs it…god I hope there isn’t any more!

* end of spoilers *

The way they tied the trilogy up was actually pretty clever, the down side is the two movies you have to suffer through to get there! As I have said, these are R rated movies, but written for 12 year old kids! Even with the ending and tie-up, the details in the script are still terrible and have more holes than Swiss cheese.

If you have seen the others, firstly, well done and secondly, this one does finish it off nicely. The first half of the movie is completely pointless, literally a witch hunt. I think this should have been a TV series, not a trio of movies.

The other thing about the movie… and you can call me Shallow Hal, but Kiana Madeira is really beautiful. I think she carried me a good way through the movies, since I was happy to see her on the screen.

Fear Street 1666 was slightly better than I thought it was going to be, it finished off the set fairly well, but overall it’s still badly written and nothing special. I am now thankful I won’t have to see any new ones… for the foreseeable future.

Fear Street 1666, and the other two movies in the trilogy are streaming on Netflix.

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