I have been a fan of the F&F series since the start. The first one was a good ‘cops and robbers’ movie and, as they have progressed, they have got sillier and stupider, but I have found they are fun to watch.
I won’t lie, I still can’t watch the end of F7 without shedding a tear, the whole thing with Paul Walker, the music, Dom talking about family… it gets me every time.
F8 got even sillier, you know, where the cars take on a submarine, but I was still entertained and was still on board.
So, I watched F9 the other day and well, I think it’s lost that magic now and it’s not just got sillier, but it’s just plain stupid!
* Spoilers From Now On *
I’m not going to delve into the story all that much… pretty much cars, family and magnets.
We now have Dom’s (Vin Diesel) brother Jack (John Cena), who he’s never mentioned, even with all Dom’s talk about family from the previous 8 movies.
One of the things that really got me about this movie was it starts when Dom and Jack, are younger men, with their dad as a racing driver. Young Dom is played by Vinnie Bennett and young Jack by Finn Cole.
I found neither of them looked anything like the older version! The movie jumps to the past a few times and I genuinely kept having to remind myself who the ‘younger’ men were. These pictures aren’t the best example, but coz in the movie, there were nothing alike.
Then the opening action bit had ‘Oh no, someone has died… wait, he’s OK!’, a car climbing a vertical wooden bridge which was collapsing and cars jumping off cliffs and being caught by a plane with magnets. From here on in, it just got worse and more ‘eye-rolling’ than ever.
Another thing that annoyed me was how the writers then put in the script jokes about how stupid the movies are. There’s a bit where Roman (Tyrese Gibson) talks about how they are invincible. I wanted to laugh at this, but I just felt embarrassed that they were pointing to it now, in the 9th one.
Han (Sung Kang) is back, but god knows how. They kind of explain that Mr Nobody helped Han die, but it was then ‘keeping him dead’ that was the issue. I haven’t seen the one where he dies for a while, but I’m pretty sure, how it happened was in no way shape or form, explained in this one.
How did Cipher (Charlize Theron) go to the toilet? We cut back to her in a glass box time and again, but I never saw a lavatory. That annoyed me as well.
Then there are the magnets. In the Marvel Universe, if something cannot be explained, they just add ‘quantum’ and that will cover up any plot details. In F9, it’s magnets. They basically find some super industrial magnets, fit them to all the cars and drive around turning them on and off again. I found it convenient that all the magnets were pretty specific about what they attached to.
Then they launch a car into space! That for me was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It wasn’t just getting a car into space, also the fact they could fly it around, ram into things and then get to the space station.
Roman explains that one thing he can do is drive… and, as we all know, driving a car is exactly the same as flying a space shuttle! I’m sure I read that NASA only asks to see a driver license before letting astronauts pop up to space and fly around!!! This image is obviously not real, but it might as well have been.
*End Of Spoilers *
The Fast & Furious movies have been good fun, but the inevitable happened, they just went on too long! It’s like The Office when Steve Carrel left, it just went downhill from there. I don’t think Paul Walker was the catalyst, but then now need to stop them… there is literally nowhere else to go, I guess there’s the moon?
We did an article about an F&F crossover with Jurassic World. Tbh, after watching F9, I kind of think ‘They might as well!’. The plot to F9 is so stupid, they might as well add dinosaurs, hell, stick in some vampires too, might as well chuck in The Muppets as well.
For me F7 ended the series nicely, F8 wasn’t really needed and F9 is just completely unnecessary.
I give it 1.5 out of 5, it was kind of fun to watch, but it felt like it’s now gone too far, it’s stupid and just lost that magic it once had. This is a movie The Rock turned down, that should tell you something.
I doubt I will watch it again, as I said, F7 was a nice conclusion to it, but this series of movies seem to have died with Paul Walker. They are planning an F10, but I dread to think about what they have planned for it. I know I will watch F10, but I’m more prepared for how utterly stupid it might turn out.
Also, if they don’t use FasTEN Your Seatbelts I just won’t watch it at all!