The Batman Unburied podcast will premiere on May 3. The narrative-led show from David S. Goyer, screenwriter of The Dark Knight trilogy, Man Of Steel and Batman Vs. Superman will feature… droll rum please…. Winston Duke as Bruce Wayne. We’ll come back to this in a jiffy.

Here’s the trailer and this is the official synopsis:

“When audiences meet Bruce Wayne he is a forensic pathologist, working in the bowels of Gotham Hospital and tasked with examining the victims of The Harvester, a gruesome serial killer preying on Gotham’s citizens. Not only will the superhero be forced to face his own mental demons, but he will also have to overcome them in order to save the citizens of Gotham as his alter-ego Batman.”

Dr Batman

What the Bat-Fuck!?

Hold up, Bruce Wayne is a forensic pathologist working in a hospital? Well you see, The Batman Unburied is one of those reimagining of the Batman story. You know the kind where they take beloved characters  and then they change absolutely everything about them just to shoehorn some shitty story that otherwise wouldn’t see the light of day.

This story is about a serial-killer terrorizing Gotham City, but Batman is nowhere to be seen. This is because Bruce Wayne has no memory of being the Caped Crusader at all. And to find out why Batman is MIA, Barbara Gordon seeks help from Gotham’s second smartest detective… The Riddler. Give me strength.

Batman

Bat-Diversity

Now considering Hollywood is all about authenticity, The Batman Unburied casting is somewhat of a surprise (he says sarcastically). 

Let’s start with Bruce Wayne/Batman. He is now played by Winston Duke who is most famous for playing M’Baku in Black Panther. You may remember M’Baku, he literally barked like a dog at Martin Freeman’s CIA agent Everett Ross every time he spoke because he was ‘a problematic white dude’. Winston even said he improvised the scene. Inspiring.

Riddler is played by Hasan Minhaj. Gina Rodriguez as Barbara Gordon, Lance Reddick as Thomas Wayne, Toks Olagundoye as Martha Wayne, John Rhys-Davies as Dr. Hunter, and Ashly Burch as Vicki Vale. 

Alfred is played by Jason Isaacs. OK at least the man servant gets to keep his ethnicity.

Batman Unburied Cast
Top row: Batman, Riddler, Barbara Gordon. Bottom row: Thomas Wayne, Martha Wayne, Vicky Vale.

The Release

Batman Unburied will be released in nine different languages, made specifically with local talent for versions in Brazil, France, Germany, India, Indonesia, Italy, Japan, and Mexico. Local talent eh? I bet you anything you like that Japanese Batman will be Japanese.

They might as well make a sign language audio version too because I have no intention of listening to this! 

Bat Jap

Enough Is Enough!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I have no intention of playing their silly little games anymore and helping them finance their next abomination.

Now before any of you get all snarky, I have nothing against any of the actors or actresses in this show. In fact I am actually a fan of Lance Riddick, I think he’s been excellent in everything I’ve seen him in, from The Wire to Fringe and Horizon Zero Dawn.

The blue haired mob are quick enough to boycott anything that doesn’t respect their ethnicity, gender or sexual orientation and it seems to work in their favor. So I am now going to abide by the rules of the game they invented.

I will no longer give them my money or contribute to their viewing figures for any show or movie that doesn’t respect me and mine. They are purposely destroying everything I hold dear and I’m refusing to just remain quiet about it.

“bISuv ‘e’ yIwIv; bISutlh ‘e’ yIwIvQo’ – Choose to fight, not negotiate.”

Klingon

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