Ahhh bacon. Not only the honest laborer of meats, but it is also the great confuser of vegetarians everywhere as the smell of a bacon sandwich can make them question their entire belief system from 200 yards.

Bacon can also refer to an actor by whom every other actor is connected by no more than six degrees of separation, and one of the most reliable actors in Hollywood. From Flatliners to Tremors, from Sleepers to X-Men: First Class, Bacon represents honest continuity and, frequently, a treat. So just like real bacon then.

However, the power of Bacon may have met his match. Few things herald the shedding of common sense and the approach of outright idiocy than the current world of pronouns.

they them

You know how they work, and what it means. No need for us to waste good keystrokes on explaining the whole concept, as it has become in the 20s, for you. So it is with a sense of trepidation, but also interest, that we see that Kevin Bacon’s new movie has pronouns.

It has changed its name from Whistler Camp to They/Them (official way to say it, “They Slash Them” apparently). It is a Blumhouse production and is described as a “queer empowerment slasher film”.

bacon

The movie is set at a gay conversion camp run by Bacon’s Owen Whistler.

“As the camp’s methods to ‘turn these kids straight’ become increasingly psychologically unsettling, the queer and trans campers must work together for protection against a mysterious killer who starts claiming victims.”

On paper, this sounds like it has the potential to be a preachy, tiresome pile of old woke nonsense. However, this is Blumhouse who has shown the power to surprise and who understands the genre. There could be a twist in here somewhere.

Anna Chlumsky and Carrie Preston (Good Wife) star alongside Theo Germaine, Quei Tann, Austin Crute, Monique Kim, Anna Lore, Cooper Koch, and Darwin del Fabro. Skyfall writer and Penny Dreadful co-creator John Logan both writes and makes his directorial debut. Jason Blum and Michael Aguilar produce.

The movie premieres on August 5th on Peacock.

On the subject of pronouns, if we can just pick our pronouns out of thin air, with no regard to common sense or medical science but based entirely on our “feels”, then we can do exactly the same with our adjectives.

they them

Stark
He/Him
Filthy/Magnificent

 

 

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