Since the dawn of human storytelling, when Ug the caveman used rudimentary paints made from plants to tell the story of his last great hunt, only one, single, solitary story has ever been improved by the addition of children.

That is Charlie And The Chocolate Factory and even then it’s only because all the kids get what was coming to them.  Except for that goody two-shoes Charlie, but who likes him anyway?

It is the law of the universe that kids ruin everything. Me included. I used to be rich and well travelled. Then the kids arrived. Now I am reduced to hiding from the little bastards in my home office while writing about movies online. Nowhere is this universal law more true than in movies.

All kids, in all movies, are terrible. Overacting, unconvincing, precocious, annoying. Usually with some unconvincing and precocious special skill like computer hacking while rolling eyes at grown-ups.

So it is with tiresome inevitability that Avatar 2 will host an entire tribe of them. Na’avi children including Jake and Neytiri’s kids.

L-R: Britain Dalton (Lo’ak of the Sully Family), Filip Geljo (Aonung of the Metkayina Clan), Jamie Flatters (Neteyam of the Sully Family), Bailey Bass (Tsireya of the Metkayina Clan), Trinity Bliss (Tuktirey of the Sully Family), Jack Champion (Javier”Spider” Socorro), and Duane Evans Jr (Rotxo of the Metkayina Clan).

There they are, bless them. That one in the middle looks like she could be a hacker. Or a gymnast. A precocious gymnast, with hacking skills.

Producer Jon Landau has shared a new production still from shooting in New Zealand featuring one of these actors, Britain Dalton, filming an underwater sequence in a performance capture suit, riding atop something that will ultimately be replaced by a CGI sea creature.

Avatar

His character Lo’ak is the Na’vi son of Jake Sully and Neytiri, played by Sam Worthington and Zoe Saldana. To get an idea what kind of sea creature he could be riding in the finished movie we can look to the production art.

Speaking to the New Zealand news site RNZ Landau teased the plot of the sequels:

“This is the story of the Sully family and what one does to keep their family together.

Jake and Neytiri have a family in this movie, they are forced to leave their home, they go out and explore the different regions of Pandora, including spending quite a bit of time on the water, around the water, in the water.”

Avatar 2 will come out next year in December and attempt to use a $1b budget to overcome the curse of child actors.

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