It’s been reported by various sources on the interwebs, most notably The Hollywood Reporter, that James Gunn and Peter Safran have borrowed David Zaslav’s axe and are wielding it like men possessed.

There is a lot to unpack here but the gist is Wonder Woman 3, Man Of Steel 2, Black Adam 2 are all dead and Aquaman 2 will be Momoas swan song. To coin a phrase from Bruce Wayne himself – Come on, let’s get nuts!

Jimmy And Petey

Since Zaslav hired the duo back in October this year, rumours have swirled about what they plan for the DCU.

Gunn himself said there is an 8-10 year plan for the franchise and then teased the Kingdom Come storyline. This was soon followed by the emergence of Henry Cavill back as Superman in Black Adam and DC nerds and gluttons for punishment like me totally lost their shit.

As always with DC, there is a but. Jimbo and Pete recently flew back to Los Angeles from the snowy city of Aspen, Colorado, where they have been busy mapping out their plans and working on their DC Bible. The pair are set to meet with David Zaslav next week and unveil their vision. And here comes the but…

Gunn and Safran

Wonder Woman 3

Let’s start with the story that started the snowball effect, Patty Jenkins’ Wonder Woman 3. Sources say that Patty recently submitted her treatment, co-written with Geoff Johns, for WW3 to Gunn and Safran, as well as Michael De Luca and Pamela Abdy. The gang then broke the news to Pats, telling her the project, as it stood, did not fit in with the new plans. 

As we know, Jenkins directed and co-wrote the previous two Wonder Woman movies, starring Gal Gadot. Wonder Woman was a success with many praising it and once again giving DC fans hope for the franchise. And then Wonder Woman 84 happened and it totally shit the bed. 

In fact, if it wasn’t for Gal Gadot prancing around with her magnificent pins (that’s cockney slag for legs) on display, the film is pretty much unwatchable.

Wonder Woman 84

As well as setting the then DCEU back yet another step, to add salt to the axe wound, WW84 was a $100m loss at the box office. According to sources, Gadot was on track for a $20 million payday for Wonder Woman 3 while Jenkins would have received $12 million. Those figures don’t include any possible bonuses. 

I find it astonishing that WW84 even saw the light of day considering how bad it was, but to give Jenkins another stab at the Wonder Woman character after such a box office and financial catastrophe just sums up the state of Warner Bros and DC before Zaslav took over. 

Wonder Woman

Man Of Steel 2

To start, if I wasn’t such an Alpha and I was born with tear ducts, I would be writing this whilst fighting back, what you mortals call tears.

The Man Of Steel sequel looks dead. Regardless of the hype surrounding Cavill’s return or the excitement it generated when he made a cameo at the end of Black Adam, it’s done. I’m not even going to bother saying “according to sources” or “apparently”. I know it, you know, so let’s stop pretending.

Yes, there had been rumours of Cavill singing a new three-picture deal that would have seen Man Of Steel 2, Justice League 2, and a big duke-a-roo in Black Adam 2. But as Stark recently reported, nothing was set in stone and things have looked shaky ever since.

The latest news is that Henry has indeed filmed a late cameo scene for The Flash, leading to speculation that will be his final outing as Superman. Everyone is saying The Flash will be used to finally enable DC to erase the Snyderverse once and for all and start afresh, and regardless of my blind denial, it looks like that is indeed happening… what sorcery is making strange watery things leak from my eyes? 

Superman Man Of Steel

Black Adam 2

Black Adam is a flop regardless of The Rock’s grandstanding. After several weeks since its release, Black Adam is set to rake in less than $400m and Variety was saying it could be another $100m loss for Warner Bros.

However, yesterday’s Deadline contradicted this by claiming the film will actually make a $50-$70 net profit. This was backed up by Johnson who compared it to Captain America which raked in $370m and then went on to spawn arguably Marvel’s best trilogy.

The only difference is that when Captain America was made, Marvel had a plan and all their ducks were in a neat little row. But this is DC and instead of ducks, they have a massive coiler sitting there steaming away and gathering flies.

I attempted to watch Black Adam and it was atrocious. It was one of the few films I have actually quit halfway through. And let’s be honest, the biggest amount of hype surrounding the film was Henry Cavill’s cameo. 

So considering Dwayne has been determined to build Black Adam within the Snyderverse and piggyback off Cavill’s Superman, which is nearing its end, it’s safe to say Black Adam 2 is about as likely as The Rock confirming Joe Rogan’s latest comments.

Black Adam

Aquaman 2

This is never-ending! Apparently, test screenings for Aquaman And The Lost Kingdom confirm that there is no Batfleck as promised and Amber Turd is alive and kicking and still playing Mera.

What is surprising is that this is being treated as the end of Mamoa’s Aquadude and he is set to play intergalactic bounty hunter Lobo in the very near future.

Momoa would be the perfect casting for Lobo and let’s be honest, all he’ll have to do is don some KISS makeup, and then just play himself, again. Easy money.

Lobo

The Flash

Finally, we are here. Reports suggest that test screenings for The Flash have been incredible. And with all the above taken into consideration, it’s increasingly likely that whatever happens in The Flash is going o be the final act in a decade-long fiasco for DC.

What was initially billed as the return of Michael Keaton as Batman and the death of Affleck’s Batman, the DC universe going forward was meant to have been built around Keaton. His Batman was supposed to act as the wise, old mentor to all future DC heroes. But the cancellation of Batgirl now looks like it was the beginning of the end for everything.

Batgirl

The Flash is meant to showcase both Keaton and Affleck as Batman in one movie, as well as the above-mentioned cameo of Cavill’s Superman. Perhaps in light of everything above, we’ll now get additional surprise cameos from Aquaman and Wonder Woman, and let’s not forget Shazam who seems to be off everyone’s radar!

Add all this to the universal disdain for Ezra Miller, it’s unlikely Gunn and Safran will be using him for anything after this.

The Flash
Will all this chaos mean, that the DCEU will use the same ending as Justice League Dark? In Justice League Dark, despite their hard-earned victory against Darkseid, Batman reveals one-third of Earth’s magma has been drained by the Reapers, the planet’s rotation was compromised, and people will continue to die by the millions before the Justice League can potentially find a solution. 

As a result, Constantine convinces Flash to run back in time and reset the timeline again despite knowing that the world will not be the same as before. Flash eventually agrees and speeds off as the remaining heroes watch as the timeline resets as a bright light covers the entire world.

So with an element of unexpected surprise, perhaps The Flash is going to be much more than just another CBM, it just might be the movie that enables DC, Warner Bros, and the Snyderverse to go out with an undeserved bang.

This has exhausted me.

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