At the end of Spider-Man: Far From Home we witnessed Mysterio’s ultimate revenge from beyond the grave, as he was instrumental in Peter Parker’s identity as Spider-Man being exposed to the world via The Daily Bugle and J. Jonah Jameson.
Spider-Man: No Way Home starts from this point and as part of the marketing effort in New York City, pop-up Daily Bugle newsstands were handing out copies of the in-universe newspaper run by J. Jonah Jameson.
Comicbook.com got hold of one and published the full transcript of Jameson’s editorial:
“Maniac. Menace. Mystery? No more! That’s right, true Buglers! Ever since the masked marauder masquerading as Spider-Man dangled with impunity above our city streets – without a permit, might I add – and took the law into his own web-covered hands, yours truly worked tirelessly to de-mask the myth and reveal the truth. And now we have. Peter Parker. Just a boy.
And now that the coward has been unmasked, will he do his civic duty and answer for his egregious crimes? Will he use his great power to join the police force? The fire department? Fat chance! Will Peter Parker take responsibility for the vandalism and destruction of property those powers have left smoking in his wake? Ha! Don’t make me laugh!
Parker wore a mask because he refuses to answer for his actions. He kept his identity hidden because he views himself as above the law. But if the Constitution doesn’t allow citizens to vote until they’ve reached the age of 18, why would we continue to let a child decide who is saved and who is guilty?
We know he’s made mistakes before. Just ask Quentin Beck. Oh, wait, you can’t! ‘Cause Spidey killed him! So if you don’t want to be next, dear reader, join me in this call to the unmasked red-tight-wearing monster:
Peter Parker, we are the public, and we will be YOUR judge and YOUR jury. Call the tip line, folks. Let Parker know you’re watching.
J. Jonah Jameson, Editor in Chief”
The also stars the returning cast of Marisa Tomei, Zendaya, and Jacob Batalon who are joined by Benedict Cumberbatch’s Doctor Strange. J.K. Simmons who played Jameson in the Sam Raimi movies, returns to play the character again but as a slightly different take on the character meant to reflect conspiracy pushing online news bloggers.
Spider-Man: No Way Home is released next week, just in time for the Omicron Variant panic to close cinemas again.