When I watch a movie for the first time, I try to keep an open mind about it. I do have expectations with some movies and those expectations are either fulfilled or, not. American Insurrection is kind of a rare breed. I expected I’d hate it and I did, but not as much as I expected. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a horrible movie, but it was more boring than rage-inducing.

The idea of American Insurrection is that it takes place in a dystopian near-ish future. America has basically been taken over by white men that round up anyone that isn’t straight, white, and apparently Christian, and does… something with them. All the movie really shows is anyone gay, not white and/or Muslim get barcoded.

This stuff is strictly the backdrop to the movie and serves no real purpose at all, other than fear-mongering in a ‘this could be the future’ type scenario. The movie as a whole is typical leftist Hollywood propaganda, but being that a lot of the dystopian stuff is in the background, it’s not as cringe as it otherwise would be.

The movie takes place almost exclusively at a farmhouse and a giant barn, except for some rare flashback scenes. We follow two couples that are cardboard cutouts of exactly what you’d expect them to be from a far-leftist movie. There’s no depth to the characters, unsurprisingly.

We have a Muslim, a gay man trying to convince himself he’s straight, that’s dating her and then we have another couple with a guy that’s weak and his tough feminist wife. Oh right, there’s also the man that owns the house that they keep chained up in the barn. He’s played by Britt! You might ask ‘who the Hell is Britt?’ and that’s a fair question.

There was a show that only lasted one season back in 2010 called Terriers and I absolutely loved it. Britt was the ex-thief that was now partnered with an ex-cop turned private eye, played by Donal Logue. Britt was played by Michael Raymond-James and he’s in this as the “Dog.” I’d much rather talk about Terriers than this movie.

In American Insurrection, order is kept by a roving band of militia members called “volunteers” and the dog was one of them. The group kidnapped him and now are basically hiding in plain sight, using his house. The group is a makeshift resistance cell that does nothing. Red Dawn had the Wolverines and they fought back, but not here. They go swimming, fishing and play cards. They keep the radio manned, waiting on rendezvous coordinates.

The plan of leaving gets sped up with the introduction of a new person. He has a barcode because he’s gay. Things in the group start to go kind of sideways for no real reason. This new person is saved by the radical bloodthirsty feminist after she kills two volunteers and then things in the area get kind of heated up.

Nothing too serious happens, they basically start panicking for no reason. Whatever moves the plot along I guess.

The middle of the movie is dull. This is why it’s more boring than anything. Maybe the movie would have angered me more if it wasn’t putting me to sleep with the exposition dumps. This came mostly from the Muslim girl talking to Dog.

She’s trying to reach out to him. You can tell the movie wants to seem like it’s looking for a middle ground between the two sides. She, a Muslim that cares about people no matter how bad they are and he, a mostly racist Army veteran that believes anyone not white wants a white genocide. Although the movie wants to make it seem they’re trying to find common ground, she continues to pathologize him.

The movie replaces character development and depth with the typical shallowness of their sexualities, religion and race. I laughed out loud during a flashback scene with the Muslim woman, being on the first date with her boyfriend? Husband? Whatever, he’s repressed gay.

Anyway, she’s telling him how she wears a hijab on first dates to see if the other person is going to be an asshole. Because of course, everyone hates all Muslims in America. She at one point says that when she wears it, sometimes that’s all people see. This is ironic because she constantly talks about being Muslim, it’s her one-note.

American Insurrection is an awful movie. It’s cringe, but not cringe enough, it’s rage-inducing, but not enough to get pissed off at. It’s boring and stupid with horrible characters with no depth. Their characteristics are skin deep, something you’d expect to read on a Twitter profile of a blue checkmark.

At the very least they could have had more of the volunteer militia members around for more action.

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