A Film That Trump And His Nazi Followers Ruined!

(Spoilers below)

The opening title card for this film should have begun with “We are in Nazi times!” instead of “The dead speak!” This film had so much promise after the genius and progressive film that was The Last Jedi, but in the Trump era, even Star Wars must be turned into a toxic white male ego trip.

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The film starts with Kylo Ren searching for some sort of GPS device that he needs to find a now alive Palpatine. We see Kylo killing primitive natives on a planet. I cannot help but feel in a more progressive time this could have been used as an example of how evil the United States military is killing innocent people for its own gain.

Kylo finds this GPS thing and journeys to Palpatine’s new home in some sort of harsh region of unknown space. Palpatine wants to give Kylo his new fleet in exchange for killing Rey.

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The new rebels are fighting and surviving by using spies within the First Order. Meanwhile, Rey is training under General Leia which is the first hint of trouble. Why does Rey need training? In the last film, we learned (rightly) that Rey was a strong independent woman who needs no teachers. So, the sexist trolls got their wish. Now, Rey has to earn things.

Disney clearly caved to Trump voters on this. Very sad.

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Word is now out about Palpatine being alive and the heroes go on a quest to find their own GPS device to fight Palpatine. Again, why does Rey need this? Yoda said she knows all that she needs. If this were like The Last Jedi Rey could have just went on her own and killed Palpatine, but no the man-babies won (great job guys, not).

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Rey, Poe, Finn, Chewie, the beachball robot and the gold one travel to some wasteland world to find a GPS device that Luke mentions in a book Rey has. They run into Lando and he points them to a ship that a Sith owned whom Luke and Lando were following trying to find Palpatine’s Sith planet.

At this point in the film, I was asking myself “Where is the social commentary?” “Where is the LGBTQ representation?”. I was bored because without those things I cannot get angry at people that vote Republican. I wonder if Trump was in the writing room with a machine gun demanding the progressive things removed?

The First Order catches up to Rey and her friends after she heals a big sand cobra creature. Again, a perfect example to show how someone like Elizabeth Warren could heal our nation wasted on showing some new force power. Kylo and Rey fight. Why is this a competitive fight? Rey should just beat him so we can move on, but the toxic white males can’t stand a strong woman kicking butt!

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Rey uses sith lightning, accidentally blowing up a ship in an attempt to stop the First Order from taking Chewie prisoner. We all think Chewie is dead, but we know better in this man-baby film not one of their toxic heroes will be killed like that. Killing Chewie would have been brave and subverting expectations.

Now, Rey, Poe, and Finn really need to get Chewie back, because he has the Sith dagger that will lead them to Palpatine. Rey expertly leads the rescue easily (this was progressive) on a Star Destroyer filled with First Order troops. Rey and Kylo fight again and Kylo mentioned Rey’s parents again and I had to pump the breaks. In the last film, he said they were unimportant and nobodies. That was brave! But now it turns out that they were someone. Pathetic. I was offended.

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We end up at the Death Star II’s wreckage and Rey takes a boat to get the Sith GPS. When she finds it, she has a vision of a Sith version of herself. After that vision, she fights Kylo again. Here again we have a big problem! Rey only wins because Kylo is feeling his mother dying! Trump losers win again! This was so offensive. Rey doesn’t need anyone’s help!

After the fight, she flees to Luke Skywalker’s island and Luke’s ghost tells her that she should not throw away a lightsaber. We did not need to see Luke Skywalker “mansplain” Rey, but since we are in Nazi times, I guess the writers felt it was warranted. Furthermore, we know that Luke Skywalker is the only person weak and cowardly enough to run away to an island. NOT REY!

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The ending of this film is a real slap in the face to all of us non-racist, non-sexist, progressive people. While the rebels fight Palpatine’s fleet Rey engages Palpatine. Palpatine offers Rey the thrown (she is his granddaughter) she refuses and Palpatine cooks her and Kylo with lightening. Rey dies and Kylo, now Ben Solo after saying hi to his father’s ghost on the Death Star II, heals her.

Ben, in what I can only describe as sexual assault kisses Rey without asking! After suffering more toxic masculinity run amok Rey kills Palpatine. Everyone rejoices, except those of us that were wanting more greatness like the last film!

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Rey goes to Tatooine and says she is a Skywalker. What a waste. No social commentary about how rich white people are ruining the galaxy. Or, how the galaxy would benefit from the New Republic offering free gender reassignment surgery.

Clearly the director and producers wanted to play it a safe by trying to please the man-babies that were hurt from the last film. What we are left with is an outdated fantasy about good vs evil.

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